Not fair
by EmmaCorneliaHart
Summary: Oneshot.  When Petunia Evans meets a tall, dark and handsome stranger, she wonders if maybe Vernon is not the one for her. But, as usual, her sister has to come and ruin it for her. Unfortunately for Tuney, a LE/JP fic.


Petunia Evans walked around the nearly empty hall, trying to be interested in her surroundings. She did know what it was, but she had never liked museums, and for the thousandth time that day, she wondered why she had let her mother drag her to this stupid exhibition. So what if some stuff was brought over from Italy? That it was not usually in Britain did not make it any prettier.

Of course, her mother and her peachy-perfect sister Lily had thought differently, and so it was that Petunia was now surrounded by centuries-old 'artwork'. If you asked Petunia, it could have joined the garbage pile as soon as it was finished; no need to keep it for four hundred years.

She did not understand what people thought so interesting in these things. All the women were fat, the men were ugly, the themes outdated, the style boring…

At least she could tell Vernon about it. It sounded like the kind of thing he would appreciate his girlfriend to do; it made her cultivated and that kind of thing. This way, she could join in any conversation he and his boss were having.

On the other hand, Vernon had once said he thought museums and art were completely useless. Why waste all that government money – money _he _was making – on something as ridiculous as some paintings anyone could make? Also, he was not going to let _his _tax money pay for the layabout do-nothings that called themselves 'artists'. Petunia thought he was quite right, of course, but it made her wonder if there was anything good to be got from this trip.

She walked into another room. This one was quite small for the British Museum, and kept very unpretentious. Just a large window, a couple of paintings, and in the middle of the room a large statue of a man who was running towards a woman.

Beautiful as the statue might be, Petunia's attention had been caught by something completely different. A boy, who looked about her age, his hands in the pockets of his jeans, staring intently at the marble.

A boy who happened to be very good-looking.

For a moment, Petunia wondered whether it was bad of her if she started to talk to the boy. Then she caught sight of the boy's profile and decided Vernon did not matter for now. There was no harm in flirting, was there?

'Hello,' she said, moving beside him and giving him a small smile. She then looked at the nameplate, which said, _Apollo and Daphne, by Bernini_. 'Well, how fascinating.' She looked at the statue, or at least pretended to, while trying to catch a glimpse of the boy's reaction. He had glasses, something she usually did not find attractive, but they suited him; they added some seriousness to his boyish charm, though his messy hair made it clear he was not _too _much of a goody-two-shoes.

'Yes,' he said. 'I love his statues – they look like they could become alive any moment, don't you think?'

She nodded, even though she did not think that at all. They looked like statues and they did not just come alive. However, now he had bitten, she had to keep conversation going. 'I wonder who Apollo and Daphne were?'

'Apollo was a Greek god, and Daphne was… a very pretty girl, I believe? A nymph? Something like that. Don't you know the story?' He did not ask this in a patronizing way, more like he was very willing to tell her, if she wanted to know.

'No, I don't,' she said, twirling a lock of blond hair around her finger. 'What happened?'

The boy ruffled his hair as he considered what he was going to say. 'Er… I think… Apollo had somehow insulted Eros – Cupid – and he wanted to take revenge, so he… Oh, yeah, I remember. He shot a normal arrow of love at Apollo's heart, but an iron one – or lead? Anyway, something like that – at Daphne's.'

Despite her hate for stories with magic in it, Petunia found she was intrigued. 'An iron arrow? What does that mean?'

'It kind of means you hate the person the arrow was about, or something. I don't know how it works with arrows and persons, since you'd think… Anyway,' he said, 'Apollo became head over heels in love with the beautiful Daphne, and he kept chasing her, as you can see. After a while, Daphne couldn't take it any more and begged… Zeus? Or her father? Oh, yes, her father, of course,' he said, after a short pause. 'He was some kind of river god. She begged her father to turn her into a laurel oak. That's what's happening in this statue, see?' He pointed at the base of Daphne's legs, where the marble was rawer, apparently turning into a tree.

'Apparently he never got over it,' the boy said in a matter-of-fact tone.

'Poor Apollo,' murmured Petunia.

'Yeah, it sucks chasing a girl like that,' the boy said. 'But hey, he's an immortal god, I'm sure that by now he must've found another beautiful nymph to drool over.' He gave her a cheeky grin and Petunia flushed. Ah, how wonderful it was to flirt and be flirted!

From behind her, she heard footsteps approaching and a familiar voice called, 'Petunia! Here you are. And I see you've been having fun.'

Petunia turned around to see her mother, who was looking at the boy with a bemused expression on her face. Almost as if she would be considering him for herself, were it not for the fact she was married, or so it seemed to Petunia. Trust her mother to embarrass her.

'Yes, I have,' she said. 'This is – oh, I'm sorry, I've completely forgotten to ask your name,' she said.

'James Potter,' he said, as he extended his arm and shook her mother's hand. 'How do you do?'

'Sarah Evans. So, James, what does a boy like you do in a museum in your Christmas holidays? Forced by your parents as well?' she asked, nudging Petunia softly. Petunia rolled her eyes for James's benefit, so he would know she actually was very different from her mother. Really, what a stupid question to ask, what he was doing in a museum.

'No, it's just that I saw some of these pieces once when I was in Italy and, well, I wanted to see them again,' he said. 'So when they were exhibited in London, I just couldn't resist.'

'Ah, yes, well they _are _quite beautiful, of course,' her mother said. 'Petunia doesn't really like art, unfortunately, but maybe you'll help her see the beauty of it. This is Apollo and Daphne, right? Oh, how I love it…'

James nodded. 'Bernini is my favourite baroque artist, the details he puts in his work…' He shook his head, as if he could not believe it. 'That's not something you see every day. I think his _Rape of Proserpina_ is wonderful, too, have you seen it?'

He and her mother continued to talk about art as they went into another exhibition room, to look at that _Rape of Prosapia_, or whatever it was called. Petunia followed them, saying something once in a while, but her mother had claimed him completely to discuss art and culture.

Once they had reached the other statue – which was quite magnificent, if she was honest – James treated her to another Greek story, this one about a God who had kidnapped and raped the daughter of one of his godly colleagues. It sounded like the Ancient Greek world was a hard one for pretty women.

As her mother drifted off to look at other paintings in the room, Petunia moved a bit closer to James. It was a nice name, James Potter; very normal and ordinary. Maybe, if things did not work out with Vernon, he would not be a bad alternative, even if he was going on about art a bit too much for her liking. 'So, are you an art student, or what?' she asked.

He grinned. 'Nope, just a simple sixth former.' His eyes twinkled at this, and Petunia laughed, though she did not get the joke. So he was younger than her – that was a shame, but not insurmountable.

'You seem to know a lot about art, though,' she said, sounding impressed.

He shrugged. 'I like it, I guess. My parents are Mu-Historicophiliacs, if that's a word, so they were always telling me about myths and stuff.'

That sounded horrible. 'That sounds so nice,' she said. 'So, what do your parents do?'

Because, not matter how nice this boy was, she had to know what kind of family he was from.

'They're retired,' he said. 'Been so for a couple of years now, they're not the youngest any more.'

Great, that did not tell her anything. But they could not be too bad; poor people did not educate their children in such a way, she was sure. 'Oh, how… Oh. Do you know what you want to do when you've finished school?'

He shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair again. 'No idea. What do you do?' he asked, not really looking at her; instead, he looked at the painting of thee fat, naked women and a young man who was staring at them, holding an apple.

'I'm an assistant, I've just finished a typing course,' she said proudly.

'That sounds like fun,' he said. Did she detect sarcasm in his voice? Surely not. Her job was not 'fun', but, as Vernon said, they _shouldn't _be fun. You did not go to your work to have a great time, you went to earn your money.

She had an inkling James might not agree with her on that, though. 'Oh, yes, it is. So,' she said, when he did not say anything for a while, 'Do you know what is happening on this painting, or is your knowledge limited to Bernini statues?'

'Not at all,' he replied. 'This is Paris's judgement – I trust you're familiar with the story?'

Okay, now he was definitely mocking her. Well, sorry if she did not know all those myths by heart, but she was able to type an entire page with a _coherent _account of something in less than fifteen minutes. That was useful; no one needed knowledge on mythology, except when trying to impress someone, apparently. 'I'm not,' she said curtly, then smiling to make her look less boring.

He shook his head. 'Really? With a mother like that, you still don't know? You should be ashamed of yourself.' She could see he did not mean it though, and he explained the story to her. Once again, it was about beautiful women. On a wedding, someone had thrown a golden apple into the hall, saying 'For the prettiest'. Immediately, three of the goddesses present, Athena, Hera and Aphrodite, claimed they were the prettiest. In the end, Zeus decided Paris, some farmer, would make the choice between who was prettiest. All three the goddesses offered him something, if he choose her the most beautiful; Hera offered him wealth and the rule over all of Asia; Athena promised him wisdom and victory on the battlefield; and last, but not least, was Aphrodite, who promised him the most beautiful woman in the world, who happened to be Helen of Troy.

Petunia thought that the pretty girl's life was rather awful. Helena was just _given away _by Aphrodite, so the latter would get a stupid apple?

'Which goddess would you choose?' she asked, when he had finished.

'Oh, that's easy,' he said. 'I'd go for Aphrodite, though only if she promised the girl would have some brains as well. Imagine having a wife who is beautiful but as stupid as a Flobberw – horse,' he said, his voice sounding funny. 'Although I guess Asia would be nice, too…'

'Choices, choices,' Petunia said.

'Yes, I do have a hard imaginary life,' he admitted. 'Good thing I don't have to choose, then, eh?'

At that moment, she heard her mother call, 'Lily! There you are, darling, I was starting to wonder if you'd tried to seduce one of those stewards…'

It was the strangest thing. As soon as the name 'Lily' fell, James's head snapped up and he looked around the room. The moment his eyes fell on Lily, his entire demeanour changed; he stood straighter and his face looked like it was lit from the inside.

_This has to be some kind of joke_, Petunia thought, shocked._ It can't be that the moment Lily enters, people forget about me. She can sod off – I saw him first._

'Sorry mum,' Lily laughed. 'I got lost on the Roman section…'

'You're not "lost" if you don't want to leave, Lils,' her mother said. 'Oh dear. Had I told you yet Tuney has just met a lovely young man? Look, they're over there.'

Petunia turned around, only to see James was already walking towards her mother and Lily, who was wearing a very shocked expression.

'Lily Evans,' James said in a voice quite different from the one he had used before. Deeper, more masculine, and very, very sexy, if you asked Petunia. 'The only woman who could make this hall even more beautiful than it already was.'

_No!_ Petunia thought, closing her eyes. He was flirting with Lily. He seemed to know Lily already. This was so unfair, this was _so _unfair. She started to walk towards the small group, all the while hoping the daggers her eyes shot would kill Lily.

'Shut up, Potter,' Lily said, the corners of her mouth twitching. 'What are you doing here, anyway?'

'Visiting our country's most cherished museum, of course,' he said. 'What else?'

'Lily, dear, do you know Ja – Oooh.' Her mother nodded in understanding, and suddenly realization hit Petunia. Lily _had _said something about a James Potter, had mentioned him several times over the years. This year there was something she had to do with him, and she… had not wanted to? What was it again?

'Mum, this is James Potter from my school, the Head Boy,' Lily said, as if hearing Petunia's question and deciding to answer it. 'And I have no idea what he is doing here, since I didn't think Wizards went to Muggle museums…'

'You're in a Muggle museum,' James countered.

'Yes, but I'm a Muggle-born, you're a pureblood, it's completely different.' She sighed and shook her head. 'If I didn't know any better, I'd almost think you had taken your stalking up to eleven and decided to follow me everywhere…'

'Good thing you know better, then,' Petunia muttered darkly.

Lily raised one eyebrow. 'Don't sound too happy, Petunia, I don't think Vernon likes happy people.'

'He doesn't like you because you're a -' Petunia held back, seeing her mother's stern look. Biting her lip, she said, 'He has more than enough reasons not to like you, it has nothing to do with you behaving as if you're on drugs all the time.' That was hardly an accurate description of Lily, and Petunia knew it, but maybe James did not.

Then again, if he went to _her _school, he was obviously a freak as well.

_But he seemed so normal, so nice, so interested._ How could he go from someone like that into a freak who fancied her sister in less than a minute?

'Could you please try and behave?' their mother asked, looking from Petunia to Lily. 'We're in public.'

James looked as if he was feeling very uncomfortable. _As he should_, Petunia thought. Then he should not have been a wizard, it was not her fault he had to betray them.

Lily sighed. 'Sorry, mum.'

'Yeah, sorry,' Petunia said, not meaning it at all. She shot Lily a dark look, which was returned with a glare.

'So, er, James, how are your holidays?' Lily asked, turning away from Petunia entirely. 'Been studying as much as I have?'

'I doubt anyone does that, Evans,' he said, nudging her playfully. 'Except maybe for Remus, but he just has an aberration when it comes to that… But I've been studying, yeah, and Sirius is staying over, so there's been a lot of planning for next year.'

'Oh? Still planning on becoming an Auror?'

'Nah, I think I'm going to try and be a Healer,' he said. 'I mean, the NEWTs you need are basically the same, so it won't be much of a problem, I think.'

The liar! He had told her that he did not know yet what he was going to do, and here he was, throwing around strange words. Petunia did not know what a Healer was, but she dared bet you would not make as much money as Vernon's job.

She did not want to miss out on their conversation, confusing as it might be, so when Lily and James moved over to another painting, Petunia followed them as inconspicuously as possible.

'I do hope you're enjoying yourself a bit, though,' James said. To her dismay, Petunia saw his hands edge closer to Lily's, but she swapped it away when she noticed. 'I mean, all work and no play make Jack a dull boy, or whatever it is you Muggles say. And I know you don't play at Hogwarts,' he said, when Lily opened her mouth.

'I wasn't going to say that,' she said, flipping back her red hair – just for James's sake, Petunia was sure, so he could see how nice and long and shiny it was. 'No, I am having fun, really.' She was silent for a second. 'After all, what's more fun than reading text books in bed?'

James shrugged. 'I could think of a thing or two, though maybe that's just me. I do believe some people like other things, though – getting into snowball fights and drinking hot chocolate, for instance.'

Lily shook her head. 'Really, James? If you had to choose between learning or hot chocolate, wouldn't _everyone _choose for the exciting four-hundred-page book on the effects of adding too much newt eyes to your potion?'

'Oh, yes, of course, of course,' he said, nodding. Then he sighed. 'Lily, I know you're just teasing me, but it's kind of scary. You've given me mental images of coming home and finding Sirius bent over his books. Please say something to make it go away.'

Petunia saw Lily's cheek rise a couple of millimetres, like she was smiling. Oh, how Petunia wished she could see their expressions!

'I think that if you ever feel like giving up on me, but you still want an Evans woman, you will always have my mum and Petunia to choose from,' she said. 'Though I'm not sure if Petunia wants you now she knows you're a freak.'

_She did not need to _tell_ him!_ Petunia felt like yelling.

'I'm not a freak.'James sounded insulted. 'Where did she get that idea?'

'Ah, apart from the fact that you like me and… talk about _art,_ apparently? What's up with that, by the way? She hates magic and anything magical must therefore be a freak,' she explained. This time, she did grab James's hand. 'So that would be another six years lost if you decided to chase her.'

'Don't worry, Lily, you're still the only one for me,' he told her. The horrible thing was, Petunia thought he might be serious; his tone was teasing, but there was something deeper. And what was it with the six years? Had this boy actually fancied and chased Lily for _six years_?

Lily poked him with her elbow, though her hand did not release James's. 'I thought you'd say that.' She sighed and leaned against the boy, who put an arm around her. 'It's very weird, seeing you outside of school,' Lily said. 'Especially _here_. If I had to make a list of ten places I'd never thought I'd find James Potter, this would be on it, right next to a library and my bedroom.'

'Well, I've already got in here, I suppose I could go to the library tomorrow…' he said. 'Although I guess getting into your bedroom would be a challenge.'

'That's never stopped you before.'

'Lily Evans, I suggest you stop this conversation, unless you want me to take you up on this. Because, believe me, I'll be in there before the night is over,' he threatened.

Lily turned away from him and for the first time since this talk started, Petunia could see her sister's face. It was not the way she had expected it would look like; there was a cheeky smile around her lips and an unfamiliar look in her eyes. 'You want to bet you can be in my bedroom before the night is over? Not using Apparition, I mean?' she said, crossing her arms.

'Sure,' he said. 'What'll we bet for?'

Lily bit her thumb nail as she contemplated his question. 'What do you say about… If I win, you and Sirius have to tell me what it is you lot do every time I see you disappearing with huge bulks under your clothes. And don't say you don't do that,' she added. 'I saw you once, and Sirius was wearing a blonde wig when he came back. If you are holding cross-dressing parties, I want to know. It'd make my life.'

'Why, so you can join?' he asked. 'Fine. But if I win, I want a kiss.' He raised his eyebrows challengingly as Lily's mouth tightened.

'Deal,' she said, and they shook hands.

Despite her hate for magic, Petunia could not help but be curious as to how James would mange it. Both she and Lily looked very surprised when, instead of flirting heavily with Lily, he made way to their mother. The sisters exchanged looks, for once united by their puzzlement, and followed him.

'It's just, Lily has said you are such a wonderful cook, and my parents aren't at home tonight, so I was wondering if it would be _very _inconvenient if I came over for dinner tonight?' he was asking their mother, with an angelic look on his face.

'That bastard,' Lily whispered.

'It was you who challenged him,' Petunia told her. 'Vernon would never stoop so low.'

'Only because he's too fat to bend.'

'Bitch.'

'Hypocrite.'

'Freak.'

At that, Lily just rolled her eyes and went to join James and her mother. Petunia did not hear what they were saying, but after a couple of minutes, James looked very happy and Lily was telling him it took more than just dinner at her house to get into her room.

'Of course, Evans,' he said. 'But I'll find a way. I always do.'

She punched him again. 'I do wish you would stop calling me Evans. We talk normally now, you can just call me Lily if you want.' She punched him again and Petunia wondered how that must feel; James looked like he had some fine stomach muscles underneath that sweater.

'Sorry,' he grinned. 'Years of habit.'

When they went back to Cokeworth, James went with them, looking amazed at all the Muggles devices. In the meantime, he talked a lot with their mother, who was very interested in him; had he been fun as a young man who knew about art, a _magical _young man who knew about art was a bloody miracle!

Of course, everything became better as soon as it was magical, Petunia thought bitterly. Had it not worked the exact same way with her and Lily? They were both loved just as much – until Lily had to go and make things levitate and blow up without touching them and being all-around, freaking _wonderful_.

'Dinner should be ready in an hour,' her mother said, when they entered the kitchen and the first thing their father had asked was 'Hey honey, what time's dinner?'

'That's great,' he replied. 'I'm hung – oh, hello, who are you?' he said, upon noticing James, who quickly stepped forward and shook his hand.

'James Potter, sir,' he said.

'He likes to think of himself as the father of your grandchildren,' Lily said, while opening the refrigerator and getting a slice of cheese. 'But don't worry, it won't happen.'

James and Mr. Evans chuckled.

'So you're the James Potter she's told us so much about,' he said, and Petunia had the pleasure of seeing Lily freeze, her hand carrying the cheese suspended in mid-air.

'Oh, yes. You were _all _she talked about in her letters, wasn't he, Sarah?' he said, looking at his wife. 'We were starting to wonder when you were making your engagement public.'

'Haha, very funny.' Lily's face turned as red as her hair. 'Really, dad, he doesn't need his ego to be inflated even more, it's big enough the way it is. Also, I would appreciate it if you could stop embarrassing me in front of the Head Boy.'

'And father of our grandchildren,' Mr Evans said. 'Don't forget that.' He turned to James. 'You should know, son, I'd like loads of grandchildren…'

Now Lily was no longer the only one feeling embarrassed; Petunia wondered why her dad had to say these things. Then she wondered why he had not said it to Vernon – did not he think that she and Vernon would make pretty babies?

Probably not, she decided, rolling her eyes mentally. They wouldn't be _magical _babies, after all, so why bother?

James nodded. 'I'll see what I can do, sir. Though I think we'd best wait until graduation at least.'

'Oh, yes, definitely, 'twould be a waste if Lily had do drop out of school because she was pregnant. No, you've more than enough time when you're older,' her father said. 'But I am glad we're on the same page about this.'

'So am I,' said James solemnly. He looked over at Lily. 'So, Ev – Lily, aren't you going to show me the house?'

'Fine,' Lily muttered, putting the cheese down on the table and leading James out of the kitchen.

'He looks like a fine lad,' Petunia heard her father say. 'Very well-built, sense of humour, and apparently he's been in love with her since they were eleven. A man's got to admire his loyalty and persistence, right, Sarah?'

'Oh, Henry,' her mother sighed, shaking her head. 'Of course you'd say that.'

Deciding she wanted to hear no more of this, Petunia went up to her room, trying to distract herself by reading. It did not help that she could hear James Potter being shown the house – except for Lily's bedroom, probably – and wondering how a boy who went to that freak school could have such a sexy voice.

She was lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering why her life was so unfair, when it hit her. She did not have to be the pathetic daughter without sexy friends – she had a boyfriend, did she not? A boyfriend who was nice and normal and not some stupid, lying toerag.

She got up from her bed and went downstairs, where the family's phone was. She knew Vernon's number by heart and when she had pressed the buttons, she waited for him to pick up. The phone rang once… twice… thrice…

'With Vernon Dursley,' said the familiar voice.

'Hello, Vernon, honeykins,' she said, feeling better already. 'I was wondering if maybe you would like to stay over for dinner.'

He sighed. 'Petunia, dear, isn't it a bit… late to ask me? Really, I could have had an appointment, but seeing as I don't, I suppose I might as well eat over at your place… What time shall I get there?'

_Yes!_ She had worried if maybe he thought it a too short notice, but this proved he just wanted to be with her. _Take that, Lily!_ 'In about forty-five minutes,' she said. 'Though of course you are always welcome to come earlier, dear.'

He grunted something. 'I'll see. Well, I have to go, dear, I will see you in forty-five minutes.' He hung up and Petunia went back to her room to change and reapply her make-up. She could hear Lily and James going downstairs and once every few minutes, a bout of laughter erupted. It was great for them that they were having a good time. Just bloody great.

After exactly forty-five minutes, the doorbell rang. Petunia rushed downstairs, remembering she had forgotten to tell her mother Vernon was staying over. She supposed they could share – no problem. It was just that Vernon got a bit narky when he had not eaten enough and since he was a strong man with a healthy appetite, he needed a _lot _of food.

'Mum, I invited Vernon over, you don't mind, do you?' she called over her shoulder before she opened the door.

In front of her stood her boyfriend: tall, almost as tall as she was, and big and strong, and with a warm smile on his face, just for her. 'Hello, darling,' he said, giving her a kiss on her cheek. 'I'm not late, am I?'

'No, darling, of course not,' she said. 'Come on, dinner will be ready soon. Lily had someone over from her freak school. 'She closed the door. She felt a rush of pride when Vernon took off his coat to reveal his clean, white shirt. The shirt of a man in a responsible job, if you asked her (or him).

He stiffened. 'What? You mean another one of those… Magicians?'

Reluctantly, she nodded. 'But you don't really have to talk to him more than is necessary, even they must understand how unpleasant it is for people like us to spend time with them,' she soothed. She led him to the living room, where her father, Lily and James Potter were sitting, laughing at something James had said.

'Ah, hello Vernon,' her father said upon seeing his future son-in-law. 'Great to see you again.' His mouth twitched and Petunia felt the need to throw something at his head. He could not make fun of her boyfriend! He was a serious man!

'Hello sir,' Vernon replied. He looked at Lily. 'Hello Lily.'

'Hi Vernon,' she replied curtly. Looking like she did not want to do this, she turned to James. 'James, this is Vernon, Petunia's boyfriend; Vernon, this is James, a boy from my school.'

'And the father of my grandchildren, don't forget that,' her father said.

Lily rolled her eyes. 'Dad, please?'

James put an arm around her and Petunia tried to ignore the spasm of jealousy that ran through her. 'Ah, don't worry, Lils, it's not like I didn't know,' he said. 'Really, you seem to be the only one who has not realized it yet.'

'Since I'm the one who has to give birth to all those children, aren't I the most important one in this matter?'

'No, your opinion doesn't matter,' Petunia said, moving to the sofa and sitting as far away from Lily as possible.

'Petunia,' her father chastised.

'Sorry, daddy,' she said. 'Vernon, how was work today?'

Vernon started telling them all about his work, explaining what he did to James when that was necessary. As he spoke, Petunia was reminded of why she liked him so much. He was so perfect, so normal, so perfectly normal. _He _would never be a 'Healer', oh no!

After about ten minutes, their mother called them for dinner and as expected, there was about enough for five. Vernon, who took the lead and gave himself first, emptied almost half the pan on his plate without giving it a second thought.

When everyone was provided, dinner started. It was one of the strangest meals Petunia had ever witnessed.

On the one hand, there was James, who was flirting heavily with Lily, but did not seem to mind that she rejected him three times before the main course was finished. Then he was also talking animatedly to their parents, explaining them everything about a 'magical childhood' and something he called 'Quidditch', which her father thought was absolutely wonderful.

On the other hand, there was Vernon, who tried his best to ignore Lily and her freak-friend and sometimes interrupted James to say something relevant. Her family had the audacity to ignore him, and as the night went on, Petunia could see the hurt and annoyance on her lover's face.

'So, Potter,' Vernon said, when they started dessert. 'What are your job prospects?'

'I'm going to be a Healer,' James said, dropping the vile word like it was nothing.

'That's some sort of magical doctor,' Lily explained, when Vernon looked disgusted. 'It's really quite hard to become one, you need excellent grades to get in,' she continued. 'Luckily for him, James is top of our class, so he's no problem with that.'

'Lily, you talking this way could seriously inflate my ego,' he said, pretending to be worried. 'Are you sure you want to do this?'

She shrugged. 'Well, if it's true…'

He grinned. 'You are so going to regret saying this. "If it's true…"'

Groaning, she buried her face in her hands. 'Oh, bollocks, I shouldn't have said that…'

'Well, I am finished,' Petunia said, when James nudged Lily and Petunia felt she had had enough of this. 'Vernon, shall we go up to my room? Lily can do the dishes,' she added, knowing her sister hated doing the washing up.

'Of course,' Lily said. Sending Petunia a look her parents did not see, she pulled out her wand and flicked it. Petunia screamed when the plates were squeaky-clean at once; she screamed again when they started arranging themselves in the cupboard.

'Put that thing away!' she told Lily, not taking her eyes off the wand.

Lily shrugged and put the wand back. 'Oh, I'm sorry, I did not think you would mind,' she said sweetly.

Petunia glared at her, but then decided she was not worth it. She pulled Vernon with her to her room, where she sat on the bed and he went to sit by her desk.

'Oh, Petunia, I am so sorry for you,' he said, shaking his head. 'It must be awful, being related to something like that.'

'Oh, it is, it is!' she cried. She wondered if he would comfort her, or run away when she started crying. Probably the latter – Vernon was not someone who was very in touch with his emotions. 'And for her to bring her fellow freaks into this house, like anyone wants that!'

He nodded gravely. 'Yes. Well, she won't stay much longer, right?'

'Until the third of January. That is too long for me,' Petunia sighed. She sent Vernon a meek smile. 'But after that, I won't have to talk to her ever again – I'm going to move to London and just… get away from this house and it's freakishness.'

He could not agree more, and assured her the rest of the night that that was a wonderful idea. Around ten, she let him out, and he kissed her goodbye, a polite peck on her cheek. He was so courteous, waiting for the 'real thing' until they were married, Petunia thought.

When she went upstairs again, she suddenly heard a loud, victorious yell.

'I'M IN!' James shouted. The sound came, unsurprisingly, from Lily's bedroom. Suddenly, Petunia was thrust aside by Lily, who dashed for her room.

'No!' she heard Lily say. 'Potter, I hate you!' Lily closed the door behind her. She should have known this was not enough to keep Petunia away, though; remembering their bet earlier, Petunia moved towards the door and rested her ear against the key hole.

'This is cheating, I was at the loo,' Lily said.

'No, this is using the opportunities that I got,' he said. 'And so I have won our little bet. I've even got a couple of hours to spare, imagine that.' There was a couple of seconds of silence. 'Lily, I'm kind of waiting for that kiss now.'

'Don't hold your breath.'

'What! But you'd promised!' he said. 'C'mon Evans. A true Gryffindor never backs away from an adventure.'

'Is that how you would describe snogging you? An adventure? That is seriously troublesome,' her sister laughed; her voice sounded farther away now. 'Okay, Potter, get off of my bed, and I'll kiss you.'

'Ah, no Lily, I'm quite comfortable the way I am,' he said and Petunia could imagine him grinning. 'I think you should come over.'

'You're incorrigible, so you are.'

'That I am.'

'I'm not going to kiss you.'

'Yes you are.'

'No I'm -' A long, long silence. 'Oh. I guess I am.'

James laughed. 'Aah, sweet joy! Finally!' he said. Petunia heard the sound of a yelp and someone falling on a mattress, followed by Lily's laughing, 'No! James, don't tickle me, I already kissed you, don't tickle me, nooooooo!'

Petunia rolled her eyes and moved away from the door. Great, so now Lily really did have everything – magic, parents who loved her, a boy who loved her…

When she was back in her room, Petunia started filling in the application for an apartment in London. She would leave this house as soon as possible.


End file.
